Tuesday, February 21, 2012

little girl. big city.

IMG_1855My heart goes out to little Emmeline as I herd her through this big adventure.  Her short little legs have walked miles and miles.  They’ve learned how to balance on moving trains and busses (even going upstairs on a jostling double decker) get on and off of escalators and elevators and busses and trains.  While she has had some seriously frantic moments and I think her cry is the loudest sound in London, overall she has been quite a trouper.  

Because the double stroller is way to hard to get up and down the tube stations she is mainly on foot, holding onto the stroller for dear life.  And, although she gets fed up far quicker than the older two, she has spent a lot of time happily hopping along with us (she literally hops, it’s so cute).  She “minds the gap” on the tube by doing a little jump and always always always jumps off busses.   She insists on riding the escalators by herself and she is our designated button pusher for a signal to cross the road. 

IMG_1811She has started school knowing no one.  We walk her to school and leave her there, standing bravely, alone watching us walk out to go and do mommy school.  She always has a huge grin when I pick her up. 

Since we’ve been here there have been moments when I’ve felt extremely tender towards her (and other moments where I’ve felt just the opposite, but we won’t go into that now).  It blows my mind to imagine how hard it must be for her 3 year old little brain to process what has just happened to her.  Boston was the only home she ever knew.  She keeps worrying about things we left back in Boston and asking when we’re going to go back to our other home (which now can mean either Boston or our flat in London). 

 IMG_1812These pictures are mostly from different days, but she insists on wearing her “black, twirly” dress nearly every single day.  IMG_1823

IMG_1836On days when she is red checked from yelling and teary eyed over the tiniest little blip I have to remind myself of the total upheaval that has happened in her once predictable life.  Often I don’t have that little reminder till the day is done and I catch a glimpse of her sleeping as I put something away in her room.  It’s always then that I can see my children so clearly, see life from their perspective.  And usually I’m sad that I wasn’t more compassionate and loving to them during the day.  Days just get crazy.

So, I’m trying to see her, really see her while she’s awake too.  I’m hoping if I can see her clearly I can help her navigate these strange waters.  A little girl.  In the middle of a big city.  Smack in the middle of a huge change. 

Brave little thing.

IMG_1865

8 comments:

  1. i love this post. no matter what our kids are going through its good to remember that they are just little spirits in this big world. and that last picture...i got misty eyed.

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  2. Lovely post. She is a brave little girl. She's also cute as a button and looks very British with her bangs and her jumper (woops, that's a sweater, isn't it)and her wool coat. I love the one on the tube.

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  3. Oh good grief, that last line and then that last photo. It about did me in. Thanks for the reminder to try to see things from their perspective. How I love my kids. And how much more they will know it if I focus even on that one thing. Thanks Saydi. We miss you guys! And are oh so jealous--most days!

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  4. I used to be so proud of my children when they were little and braving the city - lovely post :)

    Wondered if you'd seen this?

    http://www.thebigegghunt.co.uk/

    Sure your little ones would love to hunt giant eggs across the city!

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  5. she's so cute and you're so wise. oh i wish i was with you. it feels like a true injustice/things-are-not-right-in-the-world that i'm not with you, truly. love and miss you. skype soon please.

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  6. What a great eye for photography you have. Beautiful idea to see the world through that little girl's eyes! You were doing that very thing yourself when you started Nursery School in England. Deja vu! Even though she won't remember a lot of these next few months, what she's learning will always stand her in good stead!

    (I think Charity meant to say when I'm not with you! I'm sure you got that!)

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  7. Two things, Saydi. That last shot with the vertical yellow polls in the tube and her dark little figure as contrast--I just love that. Little in the middle of big, indeed.

    And second, I almost couldn't move past that first shot. You couldn't have planned finer photography irony--in this post about being shlepped around London, she's shlepping around her own little babydoll! (At least you're not holding her by the head.)

    Hang in there, Saydi.

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  8. that last picture looks SO much like you did at that age. Crazy. Oh she sure is a trooper, and so are you! Can't wait to be there with you!

    Love, me

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