Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Funk

I don't know if it's this vile winter weather we're having, the fact that spring really won't be here for months, kids who seem to be whining a lot more than they normally do, the fact that I can't seem to get pregnant or stay pregnant, PMS, weird moody side effects of the progesterone therapy that I'm taking to try to stay pregnant, too many things going on and seeming to only be able to do a half hearted job at all of them, having a low grade horrid cold for way too long, or just plain winter blues....but I'm in a serious funk today. Everything is making me tear up, my body feels all old and lathargic, my brain feels muddy, my joints hurt and I have a headache. And if you're thinking, well, maybe she is pregnant, I'm not.....just took a ept this morning.

So, thank goodness for a good husband and good friends. Without knowing all of this was going on for me (I think I'm pretty good at hiding things) my dear friend HK offered to watch my kids so that Jeff and I could do an early Valentines day lunch. This was a true act of service as my kids are pretty cranky lately and it's raining cats and dogs and she had to lug my kids and hers out in the freezing slushy rain to go and pick up her kids from the bus. She did this all cheerfully and I got to go into Boston (I was beginning to forget what the world outside of Malden, Revere and Lynn looks like) and eat delicious Indian food. And Jeff, my own personal consultant, sat there for an hour and helped me to figure out my life and how I can manage things better.

And, HK just called to say she was bringing me some dinner.....Jeff is working late tonight, and I was just wondering how I was going to summon the energy to make dinner for just me and the kids and then schlep both kids in the car to go to a Young Women's activity.

Thank goodness for people who care for me. It feels incredibly nice to be cared for. So nice that my eyes are tearing up again.....go figure.

4 comments:

  1. So great to talk to you tonight, Sayds. I'm sorry you had a bad day. Just think, it's bound to be better tomorrow. And be sure to go look at your kids while they're sleeping. That always cheers me up. Love you!

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  2. The Cavalry's coming! MA and I will be there in just 15 days! We'll dance in the kitchen, do yoga with Hazel and read all of Charlie's truck books 10 times. See you soon.

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  3. saydi i think we may be in the same place right now. wanting to be pregant, taking hormones to get pregnant, moodiness, busyness
    thanks for sharing how you feel. its comforting to know others are going through similar things. spring will be here soon. would love to talk to you sometime.

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  4. Sorry you were having such a bad day. It will get better. I know that wanting to be pregnant and stay pregnant is hard. I always thought growing up that when I wanted kids...poof... it would just happen. I also thought I would be married to prince charming by 22, done having kids by 27 and retired by 40. Man was I a niave kid. At least I have my prince charming! It is amazing how much of a struggle it has been to have the large family I have always wanted. It will happen for you Saydi. Soon enough you will be back in the morning sickness club with me.

    Also you are an amazing mother Saydi and I am sure even though you are busy, Hazel is learning so very much from you.
    -Muriel
    www.2kaz4sophie.blogspot.com

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