Sunday, March 30, 2008

White Trash Weekend!

J here: First off, let me say that despite the title of this post, everything in here was Saydi's idea (except perhaps when we went to a diner named Nick's, which was actually T's idea).

Saydi's clan (or at least 3 of her large brothers) were in town for Easter: Noah with Kristi and Mckay, Tal with his most excellent girlfriend Sarah, and Josh from AZ. With this fun group, we went to the fair (not the real kind with prizes for pumpkins and a washed up former country star, but the crappy kind with toothless, tattoed people who operate rickety rollercoasters imported from Mexico). We really only go to the fair for one reason...the FREAK OUT!!!!

It is Saydi's raison d'etre. She occasionally talks in her sleep, and rather than shouting my name, she sometimes yells out 'Frank!', because he's the guy who once gave her free rides on the FREAK OUT.

To give you an idea of the FREAK OUT, let me say that everyone else on it is between the ages of 13 and 23, and wears either excessively baggy, black, Roca Wear clother or excessively revealing, hoochie mama clothing. For those who do not know my wife, she typically does not wear either. She is the accomplished, well-educated, elegant mother of two, married to a strong, handsome, (and smart!) husband--but I digress.

When you get on the FREAK OUT, they start blaring really bad music of the style preferred by the 13-23-year-olds mentioned above. It is typified by incoherent strings of pronouns and articles interspersed with silences where the naughty bits (the real substance of the lyrics) used to be before censoring. (This is a shame, since I'm sure there is real poetry and pathos in the lyrics if only I had the energy to plumb the depth of those swears...but again, I digress).

Then, the FREAK OUT does a little something like this...

And here, in a state of dementia from having her brains addled by this gargantuan lobotomizer, Saydi puts her marriage in jeopardy by flirting with two hot guys while on the FREAK OUT.

I should point out that, contrary to reports in other blogs, local newspapers, and several peer-reviewed journals, Saydi did not pee in her pants while riding the FREAK OUT--she only looked like she had.

After the FREAK OUT, and before Horton Heard his Fateful Who (which actually sucked surprising less than I would have thought), we went to Nick's Diner. To give a bit of flavor, our waitress of a certain age heard about two things and sat down at the booth with us and said
'honey, you just tell me what you want, and I'll tell you how to order.'

At some point in the weekend (sequence became foggy for me after about Sat. afternoon), we also went disco bowling. Or I should say, everyone else went disco bowling (and by that I mean danced and bowled simultaneously with very little success but much entertainment) except for Josh and I who actually tried to learn how to do candlepin bowling (much respect, brother Josh).


  1. jeff-

    always post them. i'm glad you are rubbing off on sayds and that you two are together because submarines and planes are cool.

  2. Hey we three here in the kitchen in snowy SLC have just laughed ourselves sick over this hilarious rendition of your white trash weekend! Man, I wish we could have been there! Dad especially begrudged not being there for the disco bowling and Eli was stoked about the candlestick bowling!

    The FREAK OUT...I'm not feeling bad about missing! should write more! What a gift!
    Us at Augusta Way

  3. Yes yes yes, Jeff is a funny funny writer. Too bad he's not very diligent....I have to practically bribe him to do it.....maybe all these great comments will motivate him more than the guilt from me.....GO JEFF! And, for the record, I have never called out FRANK! in my sleep. Although if I had to leave Jeff for something it might be the Freak Out. I get giddy just thinking about it. I'll upload the video soon.

  4. I was so jealous when Josh showed us the video of the FREAK OUT> That's definitely my idea of fun. I'd yell out for Frank too.

  5. Great post Jeff, glad to see you made it to the computer...the video is great!



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