Monday, May 17, 2010

how wonderful a little better than horrible can feel

Thank you for all the concern out there about my darn trials lately.  it’s amazing how supported you can feel through a computer!


My ankle has a bone bruise and some ligament damage.  not sure exactly what all this means yet, except for that I can’t run for at least 8 weeks.  darn. just when the weather was getting so perfect for running.  i guess it’s time to find a swimming pool.

Rash? oh boy, I’m not sure I can even go there yet.  It’s still pretty itchy….cause is still unknown, but all the doctors I’ve seen and talked to have told me that it was something I touched that I’m extremely allergic to.  I'm hoping it’s on the wrap up (and that I don’t touch that same thing ever). 

I am amazed to be able to very sincerely say that I wouldn’t  trade in these past two weeks for two weeks of normal life.  No way.  Yes, they were horrid and in the midst of all the itching and weird drug side effects I thought I wanted to run away forever…..but the whole experience has kind of shocked me out of a stupor and made me think and feel and learn and grow and be thankful. 

It is amazing to me how terrific you can feel when things start looking up and you feel just a bit better than horrible.  Happiness is so relative.

It’s incredible to me how trials give you perspective and gratitude. In the midst of this I remember waking up one morning with extreme gratitude in my heart that the soles of my feet and my bum weren’t itching.  That’s something I’ve never in my life expressed gratitude for.

I’m so thankful for good supportive friends and a husband who've totally swooped in to help.  I hope I can be that person to others when they feel like I did, for whatever reason. 

Ever since this has eased up, I’ve seen life a little differently.  It’s little slower, I’ve been playing with the kids more, I‘ve been avoiding the computer.  I’ve been breathing in the scent of Emmeline’s skin,  watching Charlie's eyes sparkle, noticing the depth of Hazel’s soul.

I am so thankful for the meaning that the Gospel of Jesus Christ gives to suffering.  Despite how difficult this week has been for me (and I may have more to come), I am sincerely thankful for the depth that suffering and trials gives to my soul.  I’m happy to know that I can more fully (and still not completely) understand and empathize with people who go through physical trials.  I can honestly say that this week has not been a wash.  It has made me feel.  It has made me reevaluate and slow down.  It was exactly what I needed and I know there is a loving Father in Heaven who knew that. 

(And I think I’m going to be pretty good at commiserating with anyone else who has a weird allergic reaction while trying to be a mom with a bruised ankle bone.  And that, my friends, is a nice little skill to have in your back pocket.)


  1. I'm so glad you're feeling better, Sayds. I'm so sorry you had to go through it, but you're right, sure gives empathy in the future. Sure love you!
    Love, Shawni

  2. I don't know how I missed your previous post and how I haven't been of any help to you. I'm sorry. I would truly love to help right now, if I can. I mean that so sincerely. Take care and please, please let me know if I can help!

  3. Saydi - I've been catching up on your blog, and I love the title of this post. If nothing else, feeling absolutely horrible adds the contrast we need in our lives to truly distinguish the joy from the pain. Life keeps trying to teach me this lesson over and over. Thanks for your insights.



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