It’s funny to me that if I’m really honest with myself what I’ve wanted every mothers day is a day off. A day off from mothering. Ironic, isn’t it?
I’ve decided to change that this year. What I’ve decided that I want more than anything is to somehow craft a day where I can enjoy all the things I love about mothering. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still asking a lot of Jeff….basically I want him to do all the periphery stuff that normally is attached to my mothering so that I can just soak in these kids. I want him to cook and clean and hustle the kids so that I can celebrate everything I love about motherhood on that day without all the stress and frazzle that other stuff brings with it. I want to read to the kids, snuggle up to them at night and give them foot massages, I want to have some one on one time with each of them and really see into their souls. I want to remember what it is that I love about this job. What it is that I chose when I chose motherhood.
And, I want an hour. One hour alone to think about my mothering, this Sunday and each Sunday to come. One hour of uninterrupted time to reflect on who I am as a mother and wife and person, who I want to be and how I can get there. I want more than anything to be a deliberate wife and mother. I want to be proactive and thoughtful. I want to engage and turn off auto pilot more often. And if I’m serious about doing this I need one hour a week and a few minutes each day to think and plan and reflect and pray.
And, as a mother’s day gift to myself I’m going to enroll in the Bloom Game over at Power of Moms. It’s not totally set up yet, but from what my sister has told me it sounds like just the tool I need to help me be to live more deliberately.
So there you have it Jeff. All laid out. In writing.
Am I setting myself up for disappointment? Are my kids going to foil this plan by not engaging with me in the magical ways I’m envisioning? Probably. But I’m going to try my darndest to enjoy the the magic and challenge of mothering tomorrow….come what may.