Friday, May 07, 2010

thoughts after a really bad day

Midweek this week I had a horrible terrible no good day. 

At the beginning of the week I found out I may have a stress fracture somewhere around my ankle making it so that I can’t run the half marathon I've been training for for months.  Come on!  This week was my rest week….the race is on Saturday……i did every bit of training and now I can’t run.  So, that was a bummer.

So my ankle hurt and I was sad but then I woke up with some strange and sever allergic reaction to something that made my face swell up like a balloon and itch so badly i wanted to rip it off (I'm really not being dramatic here).  I kind of forgot about the pain in my ankle.


Can you believe that I’m posting this picture of myself?  this doesn’t even do the allergic reaction justice… eyes were nearly swollen shut and my face was purple and hot for most of the day…...

Sadly, i also woke up to the everyday duties of mothering all laid out before me.  Jeff had a busy week at work and couldn’t take time off.  I had promised the kids a trip to the park for a play date with some friends.  Doctor appointments were set to try to figure out this ankle thing.  And then doctors appointments needed to be scheduled to figure out this freaky allergic reaction.  Hazel had an evaluation I had to take her to to figure out what to do with her for school next year.  Emmeline needed to be changed and fed and changed and fed and played with.  Charlie, bless his heart, didn’t need much more than a few seconds here or there of me watching him run real fast or do some cool trick…..which still felt a quite burdensome to my body that was quickly being taken over by this horrible reaction.  

So, i got up and went at it.  I had a huge breakdown at one point trying to find someway for me and Hazel (who was my little companion that day….exciting mommy date, right?) to make it back to the babysitter, pick up the kids, find someone new to drop them off with so that I could go and get an MRI of my ankle, get my prescription quick so that I could stop the spread of this weird itching, all in fifteen minutes.  We made it through the day,  thanks to some dear friends who came to the rescue just at the right time. 

So here are my thoughts:

1. I am more grateful than ever that I don’t have to live with this horribly itchy painful body all the time.  You don’t even think about how nice it is that you’re skin doesn’t itch or your ankle doesn’t hurt until it starts to.  I can’t imagine how moms all over the place deal with chronic physical and emotional pain and motherhood at the same time.   The two don’t seem to mix well. 

2. There are three little people in the world who are completely dependent on me most of the time.  I know, I’ve sort of known this for the past 5 years, but man, that responsibility really hits hard when you want to run away from it. 

3. I need backup, and I’m so thankful to have it.  I’m so grateful that I have friends who will drop everything to help me.  A husband who is extremely helpful (when he doesn’t have to work).  It’s hard living so far from family, and I’ve really felt that loss this week….but thank my lucky stars that I have so much support here. 

4. Your house really goes to pot when you feel lousy.  Please, if you live in the area, don’t stop by…’d be shocked at the state of things in here.  Luckily it’s mother’s day in a few days and guess who is in charge of getting the house clean?  Nope, it’s not me.

5. My kids are very forgiving, and I think in a strange sort of way it’s good for them to see a little of my vulnerability, my humanness.  They have been so kind to me and patient and have overlooked a lot this week. 

So yeah, it’s been a bad week.  But, I do have to say that I’ve learned a lot and thought a lot and am hoping this whole experience (please make it end soon!) will make me into a more complete person in some round about way.


  1. "The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow" Been there recently. I love how you write and I can feel it all. That is a gift. I hope you will feel better soon!

  2. Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it! Hope you are feeling better.

  3. I'm so sorry to hear all this Saydi! You must have been calling me just as you were experiencing all this. So sorry we didn't connect, but you were the last call I made as I boarded the plane for Dubai. The only person more thankful for your good friends than you is ME! Sure wish I could have been there to help. Hope things have melted back into shape by now with your face...but that ankle! Shoot! Do they think it was a result of all that running? Weird. so sad about that! Keep sending progress reports!

  4. Argghh, I hate days like that! I hope all your ailments resolve themselves! I want you to do that half marathon so bad!

    The hardest thing for me about motherhood is that I don't get to take the day off when I feel lousy, or have an emergency body issue. When Rob feels sick, he can stay home from work and stay in bed. But a mother? A husband with a busy work schedule can sometimes take part of a day off to cover kids and care for a woeful sick wife, but sometimes not. Those 2 kiddos are still dependent on Mom for food and fun. Good thing they are so darn cute! Miss you tons. xo

  5. Sayds,
    We would have LOVED to help out had we known what was going on. Darn it. Sure miss you guys. I have send few emails your way maybe to your old address though. Shooot.
    Sure LOVE and MIss you guys. Sayds looks like the itch/rash maybe that is Poison Ivy???
    LOVE U Sayds you are the BEST

  6. Man. What a killer week. And you are awesome for posting that picture. Did you figure out the rash thing? What was it???

    I had to laugh about what you said - that what we usually want for mother's day is a "day off!" Weeks like yours will do that to you! You're entitled to a break-down in the car now and then.

    But I love the idea of asking for that fun quality time of just being with your children. You're an amazing Mom Saydi. Keep it up!

  7. I love you Sayds!!! Miss you too!!!

  8. Oh, Saydi, I'm so sorry to hear about your week and I DO wish I'd been there to help. I hope you got some time off for Mothers Day and that you're face and ankle are figured out and feeling better.

  9. I hope you are feeling better...I am reading this quite a bit after the fact. I am so grateful that there are more good days than bad and seriously grateful that I don't have any chronic ailments, would be so hard. Well, harder. Motherhood is so hard and so rewarding at the same time. I love your wish list for mother's day...I hope that it works out!!!



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