A while back my sister posted this. I know the song, in fact, every single time I listen to it it makes me cry (why do country songs always do that to me? I don't even really like country that much, but I'll be running along listening to my and boom, tears).
Anyway, I'm absolutely certain that there will be hundreds of times after this whole craziness of mothering small children is over, when I'll look back and wonder where all the time went, how these little chubby babies grew up without me even giving them permission. I know I'm going to long to snuggle up their little bodies and curl up and read to them and hear their little voices calling me mama. I'm even pretty sure I'm going to ache for some of the things I don't love right now, the constant commotion in our house, an 18 month old attached to my legs, the trips to the beach where all I want to do is talk with friends but instead am on a hunt for sea treasures with a little one. I know I'm going to miss this part of motherhood. I am reminded of this often by strangers who watch me nostalgically as I struggle with my kids. "They grow up so fast!" "Appreciate them while they're young!" "You won't believe me, but you're going to miss this."
So, over the past few months I've been thinking that I need to photograph the things I'm NOT going to miss, so that when, in years to come, I feel that overwhelming longing for little kids I can look at the pictures and remember that it isn't all peaches and cream.
So, this post has been in my draft folder for months. I haven't been able to get ahead of my daily "to dos" to take all those pictures I was envisioning, so, here's one picture that might just do the trick and erase nostalgia immediately all on it's own:
No, I won't miss cleaning up a baby's discarded food off the ground. Over and over and over again. I've even considered getting a dog, just so that I don't have to clean up this food 5 times a day.
I also don't think I'll miss:
- walking back to the car after a day at the beach carrying a baby and five tons of stuff while herding tired sandy children
- nagging kids to do things they need to do (like clean up after themselves.... !)
- buckling and unbuckling kids into car seats when I'm late (which is almost always)
- being interrupted 20 times before I finally get permanently distracted and never accomplish the task at hand
- trying to stay patient on so little sleep and failing and then feeling like a failure
- smelly cars
- spilled milk
I will however, desperately miss these little people who create the messes, the whining, the tantrums, the chaos. I already do miss that crawling little Emmeline.
I'm working on enjoying the doing more, and worrying less about getting things done.
I'm working on drinking in these little kids and realizing that they will change, life won't be the same. They will get bigger and my motherhood challenges will shift. I hope I can embrace each stage and enjoy these little souls as we all progress together, as our relationships evolve and change and deepen.
I working on enjoying the present so that I can look back and be grateful for all that we've been through together, for all the memories we've carved into our hearts and for all the discarded baby food that my kids will be cleaning up off of their own floors.