Wow, what a difference 48 hours can make. I feel SO MUCH BETTER. My head feels clearer than it has in a week. I can breath. The sun was out today. The snow has all melted in our back yard. My kids were outside playing today. I had a burst of energy.
I feel ready.
(except that I need to wait until Saturday when my mom can be here)
Waiting for a baby is a funny thing. It makes you really take note of all the things you do over and over again. I keep thinking to myself that I’m possibly doing tasks for the last time before having a fourth child. I rush to get the laundry done so that hampers will be empty when we bring home our new addition. And then, a suddenly they’re all full again and there’s not a new baby yet. I try to keep the house picked up and the floors swept and the beds made and the fridge stocked so that everything will be in ship shape for whoever swoops in to take care of everything so I can go and give birth. But I keep having to do it all again and again.
The mundane nature of my job is just so apparent in my waiting.
But the miracles of my everyday life with these three little ones are also vivid in my waiting.
Hazel negotiating Emmeline through picking up everything on the first floor for me and then bringing me plates of cut up fruit while I work at the computer.
The way Charlie’s face gleams with delight when he feels the baby kick or sees some cute little thing intended for his brother.
Emmeline’s questions about birth and being born. And her desire to yell into my belly at her baby brother.
This is going to be worth the wait. 
those little tykes are going to love little jack.
ReplyDeleteJust keep whispering to that little guy that he must wait until his Grammie can get there on Saturday night! Can't wait to see who pops out (but not too soon and not too fast)!
ReplyDeleteI don't know if it is allowed to comment on posts written a long time ago...but I have been reading everything you have written about birth the last week as we wait for our 6th to arrive. Your words are incredible and very soothing to my soul that moves between panic and pure excitement as I wait. We birthed our first four in a birth center just like your center and had the last one at home (hoping for that with the sixth too) and I really love the way you put everything I often feel into perfect words. Your paragraph above about realizing how much you do over and over is more apparent you wait for a baby is spot on. Thanks for helping me feel more normal as I fret over the unbelievable amount of times I have had everything cleaned and ready with a stocked fridge...only to have to do such work again. Thanks for your thoughts!
ReplyDelete