Sunday, January 10, 2016

Help facilitate a miracle

For anyone out there who is still reading this hap-hazard, totally not-up-to-date blog, please listen up!  There’s may just be a chance out there in the blog world to facilitate a miracle.  [talnita.png%255B3%255D.jpg]

My brother Talmadge and his wife Anita are hoping to adopt a baby.  They have one child who is four and have been unable to have other children.  In order to grow their family they’re going to need a miracle. 

I know I’m biased, but they are truly extraordinary people individually and together.  

Talmadge is full of creativity and love and adventure.  He is the perfect combination of strong and steady and gentle and humble. He is a deep soul, always striving to get to the core of what is good and right with such an open mind and heart.  He is one of my favorite people to confide in and talk to.  He will drop anything to help someone in need.  He is an incredible uncle, always paying such close interest in my kids, getting them all psyched up to do good things (and race RC cars).  And Tal is a dreamer.  The kind of dreamer who knows how to make dreams materialize into reality and seems to bring those around him right along with him….achieving things and arriving at places most think impossible.  Most of all, Tal is an incredible father.  I love watching him with his daughter, so patient, so calm and collected, yet so involved and connected. He has the gift my dad and grandma have of really understanding what makes kids tick, knowing how to relate to them on their level and in their language. 

Anita is one of the smartest women I know, yet she is incredibly REAL and grounded.  She’s one of those people that everyone loves and trusts the minute they meet her.  She is honest and trustworthy….really, I’d trust her with my life.  She will always do the right thing.  And she has the biggest heart imaginable.  She is always looking out for the underdog, the disadvantaged, the marginalized.  She asks all the right questions to get to the core of issues and problems and then she tackles them with courage and wisdom.  She’s a lover of nature and mountains and cities and people (especially children).  She is fiercely loyal.  And above all, Anita is a deliberate and dedicated mother.  She is incredibly nurturing and kind, playful and structured.  Before becoming a mother Anita spent many years working in media sales for high end fashion companies.  I love how she has now turned so much of her heart and soul and mind and energy (she has a lot of all of those)  to motherhood…to nurture the heart and soul and mind of her daughter.  She does it with such intention and love.  (And she’s so humble and understated that she’ll hate reading this paragraph about herself, and think it’s totally over the top though it’s all true.)

And together they make a super dynamic duo.  Different enough to stretch each other, similar enough in their world views to have a solid and sure marriage full of real love. 

And, last, did you see my last post?  Tal and Anita’s life in Switzerland is really magnificent.  They live in the heart of the Alps, in a perfect little town close enough to Zurich to feel cultured, but far enough away to feel free.   It’s just the most amazing place for a child to grow up.  So full of fresh air and beauty, crystal water, space, freedom, adventure, cows, chickens….and (did I mention) the sounds in my last post?  Soft cow bells and Alp horns lull you to sleep at night.  I want to ship all my kids over to live with them for a summer.  I am certain they’d come back with stronger bodies and more vibrant souls.

So.  If you know anyone who is pregnant and considering adoption, please direct them towards considering Tal and Anita as adoptive parents. 

I love what my little sis said on her blog about adoption:

while i don’t have a lot of personal experience with all the politics and complexities of the adoption process, and while i acknowledge that adoption doesn’t always work out in an ideal way for every child/family, i strongly believe in the extreme beauty of the concept of adoption. i can’t think of a stronger love than the kind it takes to give life to a perfect baby through childbirth and then give a more abundant life to that perfect child through adoption. but perhaps a kind of love that comes close is the kind that graphs a non-biological child into a family and seals right over any crevice of dissimilar genes. from both sides, it’s truly miraculous.

We’re hoping and praying to see this kind of miraculous wonder happen for Tal and Anita.  Their family is full of goodness and bursting with love and beauty ready to embrace another child. 

Here’s their information. 

You can learn more about Tal and Anita on their adoption profile

You can contact them with any leads by emailing familylookingtoadopt@gmail.com.

9 comments:

  1. How about if the baby wasn't so perfect? Or so white? Or a baby? There are so many homeless and "unadoptable" older children, some African American, some with special needs....everyone wants a PERFECT WHITE INFANT. They would have a child already adopted if they'd take one of these children in to their lives.

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    1. Oh, thank you for your comment. I was racking my brain trying to figure out where I had written the word perfect in there and then I realized it was in the text that I inserted from my sister. I don't think perfect was the right word there, but I know what she means....perfect in the sense that every baby is perfect in the eyes of their mother! Still, I'm gonna take it out. Nice call. Of course Tal and Anita would embrace any little miracle that feels right for their family.

      It sounds like you know a lot about the process. Please reach out to t and a to share your experiences bringing needy children into your life. They have big hearts and want find the right path for them. I'm sure they'd love any experienced direction you can give them.

      Bless you for providing a loving home for children in need. That is an extremely hard but incredibly good and eventually rewarding path to take.

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    2. Sorry, one more thing, I hate that somehow I gave the impression thy they care about skin color. Of course they don't. Though it would be hard for hem to adopt an African American child since they live in Switzerland. Not many Americans there!

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    3. Not many in Utah either and that's the state they are going through, correct? They should contact the New York City Department of Social Services and ask about older kids in the foster care system that need adoptive families.

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  2. Another idea. Your sister Saren has a post up today about all the poor orphans they visited in Bulgaria. Tal and Anita should see about adopting one of them. How much better to give them a good life than to bring them Mormon books and take their pictures.

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    1. Thanks for all the ideas. I'll pass them on. From what I know (which isn't too much to be honest) It's pretty tough to adopt internationally, and very expensive, maybe even tougher than getting a baby. They really have explored all of these options. But any experience you have would be welcomed!

      I'm not sure what mormon books you are referring to. I just saw a bunch of Roald Dahl books in the pictures. In my book anyone trying to bring light and goodness to the world by putting themselves out there is a good thing. Right?

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    2. Unknown,

      You can't just decide to adopt a homeless child. There is no kids r us. All programs will take time.

      It would be against Hague for her brother to adopt a child his sister had knowledge and contact with prior to their adoption process. Especially with the financial help to the orphanages ahead of the adoption.

      I'm surprised they are going through Utah since they never lived there in married life and if you google Utah it is the state that makes all adoptive parents look bad.

      They might have better luck with an international special needs program. More kids have already had parental rights severed at younger ages than what typically happens in the US who are in state care. They may ironically have the best luck with an African American infant adoption from the US, some AA birth parents find it a good thing for their child to be raised in a less racist country and the US is actually a sending country for adoption. Email the Cradle in Evanston, Il. They may be able to point you to a program if they don't work with an American living abroad. If the child may never see their own face in their particular region it might not be a good idea for the sake of the child. I am surprised they are not adopting internationally through the country they live. I doubt there are domestic children available there, but I would think their international choices would be more than available through the US. It is almost impossible to adopt domestically within most countries in western Europe.

      It will be hard for them since there are not a lot of free children for adoption (parents are not dying which is good) and there are many couples who want to become parents. A lot of people have to agree and I think the childless couple would be picked at a higher rate than the couple already parenting so the wait may be longer. Also to consider is birth parents will want an open adoption and how can you get together often living abroad?

      A foster parent fostering a foster child is temporary. You should never enter a foster situation thinking it will lead to adoption. Heartbreaker. And you undermine the next home for that child be it parents or relatives. They should really not adopt out of birth order, the child should be younger than their daughter to minimize the risk of dissolution. American kids in foster care free for adoption are typically 10 and older. It's not forbidden just rare and higher stats for failure. It would not be allowed for them to even foster a "foster" child from the US while living abroad cause in fostering you are not the parent who can approve a doc visit, a field trip for school, decide which school they will attend. Would that child even be eligible to participate in the education and health systems of that country? Could you imagine the American public reacting to DSFC in various states sending kids to be fostered abroad?

      International adoption and domestic infant adoption are both expensive. Especially after fertility which is also expensive. It's a cycle of waiting and hoarding money and waiting and hoarding more money.. Risking your heart again and again.

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  3. Wonderful ideas regarding foster care & such. However, not sure regarding them living in Switzerland. It would be near impossible to do it through Utah or New York as there are many laws protecting the child & birth parents. However, I would imagine that there is a Social Services where they live. That being said, the Lord works in my mysterious ways. My friends sister is in the process now of adopting her foster daughter, who she became mom to at 1 day old. Was & is not an easy riad, but worth everything. So, much so,my friend & husband did the classes & were at the point that they needed to have all necessary baby items bought & readynamic for a newborn up to 2yo. Well, with only 2 weeks left of claases, they received a call from their adoption agency that they were chosen as birth parents. 5 weeks later, their little boy was born. And, they are licensed to be foster parents. Not now, but who knows. Their road was by no ways easy. It was a long & sad 7 years. Then came Miles. And Mila! An 8 week old puppy the week they found out about the adoption. See, crazy how things happen. Please tell them to not give up and not to get too discouraged. All in good time for everyone! Karen Carr

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  4. Sorry for typos (tablet..ugh) & realized I made religious comment (Catholic here) but trust you understand what I am saying & mean! No disrespect to anyone!

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