Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Cleaning Up

We miss Jeff. We all do....even though Hazel doesn't admit it. She keeps telling me how to do things like Daddy does them. We miss jeff.

Today was a good day. Thank heaven for good friends. My good friend (really a kindred spirit) K and her three little ones came over and spent the whole afternoon/evening with me. It was so good to talk and connect and feel understood in my struggle to be a good mom. (Even if our conversations were interrupted a million times by little girls with HUGE dramatic problems like not being able to put their arm through the sleeve of a princess dress.)

Our conversation made me realize (again, it's something I have to realize over and over again) that even though I complain very often about how hard motherhood is for me and how much better I want to be, there is nothing else I'd rather be doing as my life work right now. Yes, motherhood is draining and exhausting and mundane and repetitive and very not glamorous....but still it is absolutely worth doing. Those little tiny rewards that come very mixed up in all the commotion are worth it. It was nice to be reminded of this.

After putting the kids down I actually enjoyed cleaning up the disaster zone left by four little ones playing mostly unsupervised for hours (and cleaning is not something I normally enjoy). It gave me time to reflect on the world of these little people that are my life right. now Here's what I found:
  • A little people bus filled with play dough carefully connected by tinker toys
  • Princess accessories everywhere.
  • Uncooked potatoes balanced on the beams under the dinning room table.
  • Carefully colored pictures of ponies each with four legs of different colors.
  • Three different sets of clothing for Hazel's different moods.
  • A bulldozer carrying a piece of uneaten toast
It made me realize that these little guys really have a whole different agenda than I do....and most if it is about enjoying the moment. Maybe I should learn from them?

Thanks again to K. What an incredible thing it is to have friends who leave you feeling so much better.

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