Hazel turned 12! I know that was a few months ago, old news, but still noteworthy for this family record. Hugely noteworthy. We have a 12 year old! A young woman! A stunning soul, full of light, launching into the world.
Hazel was born wanting to break free. I think her old wise soul has always felt caged in the shadow of our parenting. But she has stuck with us, sometimes pushing away, sometime inching away, sometimes clinging back close. It’s been a wild ride, and there’s more bumps and turns to come, but boy do we love who she is emerging from the child Hazel. This big bright spirit full of depth and wisdom and drive and grit. Even though day to day I’m pretty terrible at showing her, deep down inside I trust who Hazel is. I trust the very essence of her soul. Through all the turmoil of a mother/first child/daughter relationship I have never doubted that I am going to be dazzled by the person she becomes, and has she unearths herself I more and more convicted . She is good at her core, brilliant with unique energy and ideas that are going to shape the world into a different, richer, more complete place.
It is humbling to be the mother of a child so far beyond your own capacity. This is not a dig on myself, I know I’m smart and have ideas and can generate good things, but her just beginning brain is digesting information faster than I can believe, connecting it together with experience and insight and spewing out new concepts and unique ideas. Her young small light has this bright power that will spark into creations that won’t just go up with the smoke, but will take hold in her world and ignite those around her.
Hazel, keep going. Go on strong, with grit. Forgive all my mothering follies, all my well intended but imperfect attempts and harnessing your soul. Souls as big as yours need to be harnessed for a season, building strength and discipline to really go the distance. For some well intended Reason I am your mother, and although you don’t always understand why, and I don’t always feel able, I am always deeply grateful to be able to call you mine.